MerBack In Action

MerBack In Action: An Online Journal
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Friday, March 16, 2012

I Know Perfect, And It Hurts

I have been feeling an intense amount of pain lately at the perfectness of my Juliet.  I love her so much that my heart literally hurts.  I believe I felt this before with Isaac and Georgie and I think I've heard others say it about their children but, now, right now and for several days in a row, I feel it.

A little about her:

Juliet has curly hair, and I'm talking ringlets, dozens of them.  In the back she has tight little ringlets that bounce when she runs.  On the top of her head she has big curls that rise up in big soft waves as much as 2 inches off the top of her head.  It's particularly poofy when she awakes from a nap or a good nights sleep.  I can't bring myself to wet them or matt them down so they usually stay that way all day long.  She reminds me of a miniature 1940's glam screen siren.  This hair adds so much to her charm and cuteness.

Maybe best of all is that Juliet will lay on my chest for as long as I let her before naptime or bedtime.  She just lays there, eyes open and blinking.  I can feel the brush of her long eyelashes on my chest from time to time, reminding me that she's awake and content to just be.  If only time could stand still and I had no other chores to do.  One of these days I will steal that luxury from time and I don't think I'll regret it later, no matter how chaotic the rest of the day becomes.  She also will lay on my shoulder for up to 5 minutes when she cries and when I ask her to "be a sweet baby" she obeys, lays her head on my shoulder and giggles.  I've tried several times to memorize the feeling of her curls pressed against my cheek or her warm breath directed toward my neck.  Only I can ever know how much I LOVE this.  Thank you, Juliet, Thank you.

Juliets speaks with such inflection.  Her voice rises and falls with every syllable showing immense expression of her excitement, anger, joy, anticipation or whatever it is that she is feeling.   Whenever she sees a puppy, a bird, or a kitty cat, her eyebrows instantly rise, her lips purse up, her finger points, her shoulders tighten and she screams outloud, "PU-ppy", usually while running to it...atleast 5 different tones being belted out in a two syllable word.  She was this way even before she could talk, so much inflection in her babbles.    She conveys so much when she says "Isit" (Isaac) and "Geogie" (Georgie) as well...you can hear how much she idolized them with her inflections and the excitement written all over her body.  She has a way of pursing her lips that makes you want to freeze her in just that way and frame it.  I tell Isaac that he needs to find me a stun gun so we can shoot her with it and freeze her at just this age.  He agrees that this is necessary.

And her button nose, oh that cute little nose.  I thought I was the only one that noticed its button-ness until her Uncle Robby said something to us about how cute it was.  And then in the last two days, 3 different people have commented to me in passing how cute her little nose is.

Juliet loves to be outside WITH her shoes on.  She waits desperately at the window much of the day saying, "ouside, ouside", running up to me saying "shoes on", "shoes on".  And if ever you take her shoes off, she cries, "shoes on, shoes on"!  Because she knows her outside moments are over.

She says "tank you" (thank you) always very softly, almost to herself whenever I hand her anything.  But for some reason, she rarely says it to strangers.

This age...oh this perfect little age...and this is where the pain comes in, I think.  Because I know that she's not always going to be like this.  I know that it's fleeting.  And that's has to be okay with me.  She grows up and I get to know more and more of who she really is but it doesn't change the fact that I know I'll always miss this time of her being content to just lay on my chest.  There's something sort of sickly wonderful about fully possessing a tiny little child.  Hopefully I outgrow that sickness at the same rate that she outgrows her adorableness;)  Much love to you my baby.  Because that you will always and forever be, my sweet baby Juliet.

Nicknames for Juliet:
#1. Ju-B   We almost never call her anything else
#2.  money, mini money, my money

#3. bunny

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Hard Work + Responsiblity = Grown Up = Isaac


Yesterday Isaac and I came up with a new equation.

Hard Work + Responsibility = Grown Up = Isaac



My boy is growing up;)  He got up this morning and got himself dressed for school without a single reminder.  (not totally uncommon for him but also not an every morning occasion)  This afternoon he had a couple of friends over and they ate dinner outside in the vacant neighboring backyard.  I asked him once to get dressed for Soccer practice sometime within the next hour.  When the hour was up I found him completely dressed.  As Joey and I were getting Georgie ready for her game, cleaning up dinner, changing Jet's diaper and trying to get out the door I discovered that Isaac was outside bringing in all the dinner dishes from the neighboring back yard.  That means climbing a fence with bowls, forks and cups.  I hadn't said a word to him about taking care of that mess and hadn't even considered that he would do it.    At soccer practice Isaac hustled his cute little tushy off, also not at all uncommon for him the past couple of soccer seasons.  The "above and beyond" came when after practice was done he wanted to practice even more.  While Joey and I watched Georgies game (more like somersault practice;) Isaac played soccer with his coach and his coaches two sons (they're AMAZING soccer players).  He played so hard that he threw up a little!!  When it came time for the coaches family to go home, Isaac came and got his Dad to come play with him some more.  "I practice 3 times tonight, Mom and I'm getting better!"

Upon arriving home he got himself a gigantic glass of water, hopped into the shower, brushed his teeth and put on his pajamas.  While Georgie finished up her night time rituals Isaac came out to talk to me and hold his little sister.  That's when I came up with our little equation.  It was so awesome to sit there and consider the boy that Isaac is with him.  I'm sure that many great days like this go by without my even noticing.  What a great feeling for both of us to be proud of his maturity together!  I can't believe how much he has grown up.  Although I love him for so much more than these great things that he does I do look forward seeing the little man (and then big man) that he becomes!  Hard Work + Responsibility = Isaac!  I love you buddy!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Bed Buddy

Last night, for the first time since her nursing days, Georgie climbed into bed with us. You know how a mother always wakes up at the slightest sound made from her child in the night? Well this was me as I listened, half awake, to tiny footsteps making their way to our bedroom. I thought it was Isaac because, for him, this would have been normal. But it was my little girl, in a pink footed nightie, reaching high to the top of our giant bed and crawling in between her father and me. "I wanna sweep wif you." "Are you scared," I asked? "yes" she said "...where's Isaac?" I went looking for him and found him asleep at the foot of their bed. Somehow Georgie had missed seeing him there. I went back to our bed, ready to tell Georgie that Isaac was in their bed and ask if she still wanted to sleep with us. I worried about rejection...I wanted her as my bed buddy. She didn't answer. She just slipped her little arm under my neck and squeezed me like a teddy bear. And I her. I stayed that way as long as possible but it wasn't too terribly long before I knew that this cuddling meant pure joy...but no sleep;) As I started to turn over, switching my hold from Georgie to my body pillow, I felt her resist. The only way I could get her to release me was to keep one of my hands holding hers. I awoke this morning with Georgies tiny hand in mine and I smiled. I smiled because we had held hands all night long. I smiled with peace at the thought that most of the time, Georgie having Isaac was enough for her. Having her own little bed with her own big brother there to protect her has offered her such security since her move from the crib that never once has she needed to crawl to Mom or Dad. And that is as it should be. When I am gone, they will have each other. I smiled with joy at the greatest job in the world...MY job! Being a mother to Isaac and little G! It's little moments like these that I hate to EVER see end! Happy bedtimes with your little ones!

p.s. She got the "demons" thing from Aunt Pam...at least that's what she told me! Thanks for the laugh Pam!