An Epic Summer Day
While our neighbors were out of town this summer they invited us to use their trampoline in exchange for watering their back yard. Since we've always wished we had a trampoline, this was not at all a problem for us! In fact, it was an opportunity! The kids absolutely loved running across the street, hopping over their fence and setting up the hose on top or underneath the tramp for hours of jumping fun in 100+ degree heat.

As a Mom in the summer time with big kids, a baby and a home to take care of, nurture, entertain, teach, clean, feed, discipline, etc. I often find myself mourning the fact that I don't have more time for FUN with my kids. I resent having to getting angry with them and I feel guilty about the fact that sometimes, when I do have a minute to spare I'd rather spend it alone than with little people that have been all up in my personal space all day long. The role I play seems to be too much of, "stop this, do that, no!, clean up, go to time out, no TV for a week" and on and on and on!! One Saturday morning after a run I suggested that the kids go jump on the trampoline and as always, they asked me to come with them. Hmmm...well... Juliet was sleeping, Joey was doing the laundry, I was already hot and sweaty and we weren't having anyone over for dinner that night so...why not! So I went. I'm so glad I did. I wish their had been a video camera in the sky somewhere that no one in the world could watch but the kids and I someday in the future. We laughed so hard that we couldn't catch our breath. I was being a complete loony person out there, all of us scantily clothed, drenched with water and squinting from the bright sun.

We came up with characters on wierd whims like "Wild Nellie" and "Crazy Bill" and we played those parts, shooting each other with water and slipping all over the place. It's hard to explain and best for our image as sane people that I not explain it in much detail...but it was pretty epic. The kids kept saying to me over and over again, "This is so fun, Mom! We're having so much fun together;)" I kept thinking to myself, "I hope I always remember what this feels like, right now and I hope that they remember me....like this." I hope that when I'm frustrated or angry over the course of the next year that this fun time we're having together will carry over and soften their little hearts toward understanding and forgiveness. I hope this epic summer day carries on.

The dual role that I have to play as a Mom, both disciplinarian, teacher, and example of so many things while simultaneously being a joyous influence in the home and trying to make our house a peaceful place for my family to be has been tricky for me. I've always hated putting people out, asking for help, or demanding a lot of sacrifice from my friends. The same has applied to my children as well. I do it...but I always feel torn up inside about it. I feel this pressure to always keep my cool, never upset them and make sure that everyone is always happy! I want so much for them to like me! I think the view I had in the beginning of my adult life of what I would be like as a mother was unrealistic. I didn't think I would ever have to be the bad guy. I believe strongly in giving kids boundaries, a lot of responsibility and allowing (or instigating;) natural consequences to occur as a result of their behavior. But I didn't take into account how regularly I would feel grumpy, how strong their individual personalities would be or how much kids don't understand about the world and why they have to learn certain lessons. I remember my Mom saying, "You're can't be your kids best friend." I'm still working on really accepting that part of my job and its fun experiences like this one, actually, that help me to see that both can be done and both are equally important.

It's about finding that balance and accepting that there has to be both sides. For me, as I accept that, the more gracefully I handle those tricky, grumpy situations because I don't feel the pressure to be or keep everyone "happy". It's just not realistic.
There has to be both the wise, sometimes stern, teaching Mom that you respect and the friend Mom that you can let your guard down with from time to time.
It's a tough job but somebody has to do it...I'm glad its me. Isaac, Georgie and Juliet are like little Zen masters, enlarging me every single day. And that's what its all about!
xoxo